Friday, 18 September 2009
Medical Examination
Katie, Josh, Patrick and I all went for a family outing to the 'Institute of Inspection and Quarantine' yesterday morning. We had to be given physicals for our work visas. Anna and Maggie (Chinese English teachers)came with us so we didn't get lost and to translate etc. They're both really shy, especially Maggie - who constantly looks like a mixture of worried and embarrassed. We started off by filling in these forms, and Katie and I were sitting next to each other. Maggie and Anna came over, looking more embarrassed than usual, and started apologising. We were like 'why? What's happened?' and after a few nervous glances they turned this little computer screen around to us with the words 'ARE YOU PREGNANT?' on. We both laughed a lot about the amount of distress that this question had clearly caused the both of them.
After the forms were all filled in, and it was established that none of us were pregnant, we went through to the medical exams bit. All glass doors and face masks. We had to give blood - which Katie failed to do, and they finally had to take it our of her hand. While this was going on Anna was talking to her, again looking really embarrassed. Then she came out of the blood-giving room to where I was sitting on a bench, waiting my turn. After a couple of apologies Anna produced a little plastic pot. 'Oh for the urine sample?' I asked, 'I don't know how to say.... peepee?' was her reply. She was blushing furiously at this point. 'Yeah. Urine sample.' She then asked me to tell Katie, so I yelled through the door 'KATIE THEY WANT A URINE SAMPLE' just to further Anna and Maggie's embarrassment 'THOUGHT SO' she shouted back, while pressing on her had with cotton wool.
The urine sample itself was quite an accomplishment. It was both Katie's and my first experience with a squat toilet. We were a little apprehensive. Katie warned us about her 'shy bladder.' After her first failed attempt, we all told her to thing of waterfalls and so on. Still no luck. So it rolled round to the third time and Josh and Patrick decided that what she really needed was to be sung to. They asked me how the tune for 'Eye of the Tiger' went, before marching down the corridor to stand outside the locked ladies loos singing it. Really loudly. They came back (without Katie) 'did it work?' 'I dunno. She screamed at us to go away.' Katie appeared a few minutes later, while I was in the eye exam, and I hear a round of applause echoing down the corridor. 'Oh good, she peed.' I said to myself. Doctor Xu looked very confused. After my eye exam I rejoined the group, congratulated Katie, and asked if Doctor Xu had chatted anyone else up. He had.
After the ECGs, ultrasounds and X-rays (which apparently the doctor made the boys pose like a deformed chicken for) we left. We Got a school bus back to the kindergarten and had a brunch in the office consisting of Sushi cakes and egg tarts, courtesy of Anna and Salen.
After the forms were all filled in, and it was established that none of us were pregnant, we went through to the medical exams bit. All glass doors and face masks. We had to give blood - which Katie failed to do, and they finally had to take it our of her hand. While this was going on Anna was talking to her, again looking really embarrassed. Then she came out of the blood-giving room to where I was sitting on a bench, waiting my turn. After a couple of apologies Anna produced a little plastic pot. 'Oh for the urine sample?' I asked, 'I don't know how to say.... peepee?' was her reply. She was blushing furiously at this point. 'Yeah. Urine sample.' She then asked me to tell Katie, so I yelled through the door 'KATIE THEY WANT A URINE SAMPLE' just to further Anna and Maggie's embarrassment 'THOUGHT SO' she shouted back, while pressing on her had with cotton wool.
The urine sample itself was quite an accomplishment. It was both Katie's and my first experience with a squat toilet. We were a little apprehensive. Katie warned us about her 'shy bladder.' After her first failed attempt, we all told her to thing of waterfalls and so on. Still no luck. So it rolled round to the third time and Josh and Patrick decided that what she really needed was to be sung to. They asked me how the tune for 'Eye of the Tiger' went, before marching down the corridor to stand outside the locked ladies loos singing it. Really loudly. They came back (without Katie) 'did it work?' 'I dunno. She screamed at us to go away.' Katie appeared a few minutes later, while I was in the eye exam, and I hear a round of applause echoing down the corridor. 'Oh good, she peed.' I said to myself. Doctor Xu looked very confused. After my eye exam I rejoined the group, congratulated Katie, and asked if Doctor Xu had chatted anyone else up. He had.
After the ECGs, ultrasounds and X-rays (which apparently the doctor made the boys pose like a deformed chicken for) we left. We Got a school bus back to the kindergarten and had a brunch in the office consisting of Sushi cakes and egg tarts, courtesy of Anna and Salen.
Teachers Day
The 10th of September is teachers day. To celebrate, all of the teachers at the school went out for dinner on the preceding Saturday. They told me about this about a week before, also telling me that some teachers give speeches, sing songs etc. which is nice. Well, that's what I thought until they handed be a sheet of lyrics. They said that the whole English office (7 of us at the time) would be singing this song by a Chinese artist called 'Joey.' They picked it because it has English lyrics. Such beautiful lines as 'a little bit of something, these are our memories.' Great.
So after hearing this awful song played over and over in our office, I was starting to learn the words - through gritted teeth - and then one morning there was more news about the teachers day dinner. There weren't to be any performances this year, they regretted to tell me, and we all had to pay for the dinner. So I was really pleased, naturally, but apparently I was the only one. I really didn't mind paying the equivalent of £3.50 to not sing this song. They felt differently.
The dinner was really good. The traditionally-dressed waitresses laid out what seemed to be Noah's ark on our table, and we all washed our bowls and chopsticks in our tea before tucking in (tradition in Guangdong). I've learned not to ask what various meats are before eating them, but sometimes the locals ask 'oh, how's the pigs feet?' just as I'm chewing on it. 'Well, it was nice, but now it's gross.'
On the actual teachers day kids give their teachers presents. I managed to accumulate 3 cards, 2 bunches of flowers, some cake, a box of chocolates, a thermos, a fan, some Chinese hanging decoration and a miniature tea set. Win. It was the American boys's (Josh and Patrick) first days, so they hadn't even met the kids yet, and even they managed to get a few gifts! A couple of the teachers didn't get presents. I was talking to Anna about Crystal (both Chinese teachers in the English office) and how she didn't get presents. She teaches some of the youngest kids, about 3 years old, so I was like 'are they too young to understand teachers day?' and Anna replied 'sometimes. Some are just not very nice.'
So now all 3 Americans are here (the aforementioned two and a girl called Katie) and they're all lovely. It's nice to have more people about that speak the same language at you. At it's also nice to not be the only person getting stared at. Patrick even speaks some mandarin which is really helpful!
So after hearing this awful song played over and over in our office, I was starting to learn the words - through gritted teeth - and then one morning there was more news about the teachers day dinner. There weren't to be any performances this year, they regretted to tell me, and we all had to pay for the dinner. So I was really pleased, naturally, but apparently I was the only one. I really didn't mind paying the equivalent of £3.50 to not sing this song. They felt differently.
The dinner was really good. The traditionally-dressed waitresses laid out what seemed to be Noah's ark on our table, and we all washed our bowls and chopsticks in our tea before tucking in (tradition in Guangdong). I've learned not to ask what various meats are before eating them, but sometimes the locals ask 'oh, how's the pigs feet?' just as I'm chewing on it. 'Well, it was nice, but now it's gross.'
On the actual teachers day kids give their teachers presents. I managed to accumulate 3 cards, 2 bunches of flowers, some cake, a box of chocolates, a thermos, a fan, some Chinese hanging decoration and a miniature tea set. Win. It was the American boys's (Josh and Patrick) first days, so they hadn't even met the kids yet, and even they managed to get a few gifts! A couple of the teachers didn't get presents. I was talking to Anna about Crystal (both Chinese teachers in the English office) and how she didn't get presents. She teaches some of the youngest kids, about 3 years old, so I was like 'are they too young to understand teachers day?' and Anna replied 'sometimes. Some are just not very nice.'
So now all 3 Americans are here (the aforementioned two and a girl called Katie) and they're all lovely. It's nice to have more people about that speak the same language at you. At it's also nice to not be the only person getting stared at. Patrick even speaks some mandarin which is really helpful!
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